Time to Remember

With Christmas approaching I find myself in an unexpected place - in the moment.   

Typically I'm rushing from here to there and scrambling trying to find the "perfect gift".  In the hurried pace, I'd get caught up in distractions.  Did I get the tree up and decorated?  Have I gotten gifts for everyone?  What about stocking stuffers?  When am I going to wrap Christmas presents?  Make holiday baked goods?  Are Christmas cards in the mail?  Faith and family would sometimes take a back seat to my holiday to-do list.

This year has been about simplifying (sorry, no Aaron family Christmas cards).  I sacrificed a few items from the holiday to-do list, but in return got an unexpected gift.  Time.  Time to be in the moment instead of thinking about what I need to do next.  Time to be with family and friends.  Time to remember what Christmas is really all about.

Kristin

Loved Child

When I make mistakes, I am my own worst enemy.  Beating myself up, replaying the moment over and over, going over and over in my head what I "should have done instead".  Can anyone else relate? 

It's in those moments I need to be reminded of truth.  God's truth.

You are loved.  Unconditionally loved.  Not a performance based kind of love.  Not a guilt-ridden kind of love.  You are loved simply because you are my child.  I created you.  I loved you before you entered this world.  My love is right here.  Right now.  Embrace it.  I know everything about you.  And I love you.  

Stress Less

Stress happens when we forget who is ultimately in control.  

Decay

I’ve been hanging out with my dentist a lot lately – three crowns and a root canal. 

It brought back memories of my first cavity.  My tooth hurt.  It had been hurting for months before I decided to do anything about it.  Maybe the pain will go away on its own.  Or - maybe not. 

I finally broke down and went to the dentist.  She talked me through what she was about to do, “I’ll numb you up, remove the decay, and seal it back up.”  She injected my mouth with a numbing agent.  And then she began drilling on my tooth.  

Less than a minute into the procedure, the horrible smell of an overheating drill loomed in the air.  I closed my mouth and said, “I think your drill is overheating.” 

"No, that's just the smell of decay," she informed me.  The smell of decay?  Decay was at the root of my pain. 

When decay gets stuck inside, it cause major destruction and pain.  It eats away and destroys.  Decay stinks.

The only way to get rid of decay is by removing it.  You have to let it out.  Yes, it's probably going to stink.  But God can remove the decay inside.  He can heal those hurting places.  If you let him.

Let him in.

Heaven

With Jenson's birthday coming up in less than a month, I've been thinking a lot about heaven (as you might imagine).

What is it like???  Heaven...

Heaven
The best day here times infinity
Is what the future holds
The day we see our Savior
The day we enter home

The journey through this life
Can feel dark, lonely, and scary
But heaven is a place
That erases all bad memories

A place so amazing
Beyond our wildest dreams
A place of love, custom made
For those who believe

So I won't fear death for it brings life
Eternity spent with you
Eternal love and peace forever
As you give life anew

Surprising Freedom

The perfect home.  The perfect family.  The perfect life.  So much pressure!

I'm embracing a pursuit of a different sort.  Embracing imperfection.

Laughing instead of crying when my perfectly planned day turns imperfect.  Embracing my quirkiness - like my desire to break into dance moves whenever a fun song plays (even if I'm at the grocery store).  Seeing wrinkles as "laugh lines".

"Imperfection is a form of freedom."  
- Anh Ngo

Imperfection is not only freeing, it's more fun - because it's real.  So drop a petal or two and stand out from the crowd.

Silencing the Lies

Pound. Pound. Pound.  I can hear the the echo through the neighborhood.  Heavy construction all around us.  Houses being framed.  Bricks being laid.

There is no peace.  Quiet time with God isn't quiet time when there is no quiet.  So I face the day on my own. 

How'd it go?  Not well.

I am in a perpetual state of feeling overwhelmed.  An anxiousness I can't shake.  A pounding in my head (ok - that one is warranted).  It is so obvious the better choice.  I need time with the only one that can re-frame it all. 

Nothing can fill me up like time with God.  He changes my outlook.  He gives me rest from the chatter in my brain saying "do more", "be more", "you aren't enough".  He gently whispers - those are lies.  Don't believe them.

You are enough.  You are loved.

Don't believe the lies.  Let Him fill you with truth.

Wagging Smile

Happy thought of the day: A dog smiles by wagging it's tail.  Dogs smile a lot!

Glimpes of Heaven

Some days I try to imagine what my sweet boy, Jenson, is experiencing in heaven.  It must be amazing.

Until that day, I'll hold onto glimpses of heaven...

Glimpses of Heaven

It doesn't happen every day
But on certain days I see

Little tiny windows 
Into how heaven must be

A blue sky filled with streaks of white
A colorful sunset greeting me at night

A stranger with a big bright smile
A friend going the extra mile

The sunshine warming me inside and out
An encouraging word that erases all doubt

The intricacy of an orchid in bloom
A twinkling eye that lights up a room

Springtime when new life appears
A friend providing a listening ear

Beauty in diversity
God giving me fresh eyes to see

And the greatest glimpse into heaven
Love that transcends human understanding

Too Fast

"Mommy, slow down.  You're walking too fast,"  Sydney says as she pulls my hand back trying to get me to stop in my tracks.

I realize with my long legs moving at a brisk pace, it must feel like sprinting to her.  I'm reminded this is not the first time recently she has said these words.  And this time we are simply going to get a slice of pepperoni pizza at her favorite California pizza shop "Pizza My Heart". 

This is supposed to be a day to be with my daughter, just the girls.  I don't have any deadlines.  I'm not even over booked.  All my normal excuses for why I'm walking so fast don't apply.  Really, what am I rushing around for? 

Sometimes I can get caught up in the rush of life.  It's like I'm walking on a fast-paced treadmill - I keep going faster and fast, but I'm not really getting anywhere.  

With Sydney's astute observation, I attempt to shift out of high gear into normal speed.  But old habits are hard to break.  She reminds me again two days later.

"Slow down.  You're walking too fast."

Step off the treadmill to nowhere.  Slow down.

Kristin

His Purpose

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Reminder from the psalmist...

"The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me."
- Psalm 138:8

Cone Head

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Our dog recently went into heat - further proof it was time for her to "get fixed".  She (Miley) came home from the surgery with a big cone on her head.  A big cone and a very sad face.

Miley is tiny (around three pounds) and one of the happiest little dogs ever.  But the cone changed everything.  Her normally happy face went to sad and droopy.  Her eyes pleaded with us to please take this crazy thing off.  She'd trip on it as she walked in the door after being outside.  She'd run into couches with it.  This simple little device weighed her down and impacted the entire way she saw life.  It stole her joy. 

It made me wonder how often I'm wearing a cone on my head.  How often do I see things through such a narrow lens that I weigh myself down with worries.  How often does "cone vision" steal my joy? 

God's view is so much bigger, and when we each remove the cone we can see things more from his perspective.

Miley's cone came off about a week ago, and she is back to her joyful self.  A reminder to remove the cone and be free.

Kristin

A Beautiful Life

Dear Brave Butterfly,

You know a beautiful life when you see it.  It stands out.  It's like a light that shines through the darkness.  It radiates joy and beauty from deep within.


A Beautiful Life

A beautiful life is not lived alone,
it comes from connections to other people's souls.

A beautiful life makes heavy moments light,
it remembers to smile and laugh with delight.

A beautiful life shows others you care,
and through difficult times you will always be there.

A beautiful life knows what matters,
it's about people coming together to gather.

A beautiful life expresses it's love,
through words, actions, kisses, and hugs.

A beautiful life gives thanks everyday,
knowing God provides everything that comes our way.

A beautiful life is lived one day at a time,
not worrying about the past or stressing about the future.

A beautiful life is a choice everyday,
it lets go of fear and lets love remain.

Mom's Day

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Moms are special. Celebrate your mom!

Proverbs 23:25
"May she who gave you birth be happy."

Poison

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Life can be so unfair - disease eats away at someone we love, a friend we once trusted betrays us, people who were supposed to protect us hurt us instead.

When unfairness makes an appearance, forgiveness is a tough pill to swallow.  But the alternative is far worse...

Poison
I can feel the toxins invade
As poison slowly oozes through my veins.

As I look around, there is no one to see
So I wonder, "Who is poisoning me?".

As I unsuspectingly drink it in, it begins to erupt.
It must be secretly planted in my cup.

The poison is spreading like poison ivy
Making me itchy, uncomfortable, and miserable inside.

It makes me want to crawl out of my skin
As I squirm, wiggle, and get more irritated within.

God whispers: "You can make the poison go away.
There is an antidote to living this way.
Unforgiveness is poisoning your soul
As grudges & bitterness plunge you deeper into a hole."

"You think you are hurting the person who hurt you,
But you only hurt yourself as anger consumes."

Life sometimes brings pain and unfairness
But you can chose a better way - forgiveness.

It's the antidote that heals all.
Forgiveness rescues you from the fall.

So let it go and you will see.
Forgiveness is what sets you free.

Honoring the Gift

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Why am I here?  What am I supposed to be doing with my life?  

I don't know about you, but I am still figuring these simple sounding questions out.  

"If you are spending too many days doing things that bring you unhappiness, then you are not honoring the gift of your time on earth.".    ---- Unknown

I can definitely feel the difference between days when I'm using my natural gifts versus days when I'm not.  When I'm not living out of my strengths I feel tired, drained, and my impatience rears it's ugly head much more frequently.

When I focus my time on areas where I am naturally gifted by God, I am more effective and MUCH happier.  

It's a good reminder of how God instructs us to live using our unique spiritual gifts - a powerful yet simple way to honor the gift of your time on earth.

Soaring Butterfly

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend!  I recently received a letter from a popular pastor Charles Stanley.  He writes about the power of transformation.

"...Colorful butterflies have begun to appear in our gardens.  I love photographing them.  They start out as unattractive caterpillars, slowly creeping and crawling low to the earth.  They are impeded by every rock and blade of grass, and they are in constant danger of attack by hungry birds.  Each will eventually struggle it's way up a tree, finding a leaf, and weaving a chrysalis.  Its life, up to this point, is characterized by toil, labor, and striving.

For weeks or even years, it may appear as if nothing is happening inside the cocoon.  Like the winter landscape - or the outside of Jesus' tomb - things seem lifeless and unchanging.  But beneath the surface, the most amazing transformation is taking place.  Ultimately, a stunning butterfly will emerge.  It doesn't have to crawl back down the tree or worry about being eaten by birds.  It can soar, and it will now be able to fly over anything that was once an impediment.

That's the kind of life God wants for every believer.  He doesn't want us to creep and crawl through life with toil, labor, and striving.  Rather, the Father wants us to soar by the power of the resurrection."

Brick Wall

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Fear.  It has a mind of it's own.  It can distance me from others.  It can take over my life - if I let it.  But truth conquers fear.

Brick Wall
I never intended to build it
It wasn't part of the master design
But slowly it appeared
And now I must claim it as mine

The bricks got laid slowly
Different ones through the years
Each brick designed to protect me
From all my different fears

Fear of rejection, fear of failure,
Fear of judgment, labels, or names
The bricks a self defense technique
To insulate me from pain

As the fears appeared through the years
The bricks stacked even higher
A solid wall built so high
That I am trapped inside

A prisoner inside my own jail cell
In solitary confinement I sit
As the wall grows taller
I begin to holler

Help me God to see the light
I don't want to live this way
But I don't know how to remove this wall
That stands prominently on display

"You must face your fears 
For your fears are lies in disguise
Replace your fears with my truths
And the bricks will fall to the side"

"Your fears of what this world thinks
Hold no power over you
You are my child who is forever loved
The world's view doesn't matter"

"You don't need to fear failure
For my love can not be earned
It is a free, unconditional gift
Provided by my son"

"As you let my love in
The wall will soon come down
For my perfect love conquers fears
And sends them tumbling to the ground"

Slow Down

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Reminder:

You can't be in the moment when you're racing through it.

Good Friday

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend!  Last year on Good Friday, my daughter Sydney asked me a simple yet profound question, "Mommy, why do they call it Good Friday if that's the day Jesus died on the cross for us?".

It is counter-intuitive that a day filled with so much pain and suffering would be called "Good".  But even Jesus sees it as good -- the best day in history.

Chosen One
How did it feel
To leave your royal throne
To come from perfection
To walk this earth alone?

How did it feel
To be born without a bed
A lowly manger
To rest your head?

How did it feel
To wait for the day
When one you discipled
Would be one who betrayed?

How did it feel
To know what was coming
The trial, the judgment
The abuse and the shunning?

How did it feel
To bear the weight of the world's sin
To be punished for nothing
So good could win?

How did it feel
To hang on the cross
Knowing at any moment
You could have come off?

How did it feel
To look into your mother's eyes
To see her pain
As she watched you die?

How did it feel
To be raised from the dead
Knowing death had been defeated
Through the blood you shed?

How did it feel 
To conquer the grave
To be back in heaven
To know you had saved?

The Simple Things

Dear Brave Butterfly,

It's so easy to breeze by the simple things in life.  Our health, the ability to walk, the laughter of a child can often be taken for granted until taken away.  Give thanks for your many blessings. 

What simple things are you thankful for?

Be Me

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend!  Some days I desperately want to extend my wings to fly, but I feel caged up.  The more I try to conform or mold myself into what I think I "should be", the more my wings are pinned down.  Instead I'm embracing something different... being me.

Who you are is no mistake.
You are one-of-a-kind.
Unique.
No other person ever has been you.
No other person ever will be you.
You were created with a specific purpose.
Designed to be just as you are -
Made to be YOU.
So repeat to yourself, "Be Me".
And always remember, "Being me sets me free".

Breaking the Cycle

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi!  Here's to breaking the cycle... 

Breaking the Cycle
As you drive up the freeway
You see all the shops
Each one calling
For you to stop

They all promise
To make you feel better
New cars, new clothes, 
purses and sweaters

They call you in
With their advertising campaigns
Beautiful women
Airbrushed with no shame

They convince you
"You too can be perfectly made"
If you would just buy
Lipstick in this perfect shade

So you try it out
And it works for a day
Until you see the next ad
And what it has to say

Another area of your life
Needs something else
To make you feel better
And okay with yourself

The cycle is endless 
As you buy and you pay
But deep down you know
"Things" won't make you feel okay

You can't buy happiness
It's a gift free to all
If you will just step back
And answer the call

Your worth comes from knowing
You are a special child of God
Loved and crafted
To be just who you are

Freedom

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Be free... 

Two simple words, yet often they feel so lofty.  Sometimes I feel chained down by the expectations of others.  The more I try to mold myself into someone else's view of who I should be, the more caged up I feel.  God gently reminds me freedom comes in a different way - it comes from being me.

It was no mistake.  I designed YOU to be YOU.  Stop trying to be anyone other than who I designed you to be.  Live in the freedom of being you!

Fairytale ending

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend!  Is anyone else chasing after the illusive fairytale?

Deep down I want it.  I want to ride off with my true love into the beautiful sunset and live in this euphoric moment of love and bliss forever (just like all the Disney princesses).  I want to experience unconditional love in every relationship.  I want to experience a life free of aches and pain ... one where your body never fails you.

The worlds bombards me with messages convincing me I can buy the fairytale - the perfect wedding, the perfect body, the perfect clothes, the perfect solution to my growing number of wrinkles.  These things help temporarily, and then that nagging feeling returns.  My life is no fairytale. 

Then it dawns on me.  The fairytale is not for sale.  The fairytale has been placed in my heart for a reason...it is my longing for heaven.  And someday I WILL have the fairytale ending.

Restful

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi!  Today's message is a simple reminder:

Rest = Restoration

Fear Not

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend!  Lately I have been reminded to let go of my fears.  They appear throughout the day threatening to drown out my joy in life.  They create a barrier to me loving deeper.  Here's to letting go of fear and holding on to God.

"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear."
- 1 John 4:18


Fear Not
The alarm clock beeps
Waking me from my sleep
A sleep so deep
My nightmare is still fresh in my mind

A conveluded web
Of running and enemies
My dream was dark and scary
But now you are with me

I remind myself of truth
You are loved, enough, and forgiven
You don't need to run
You can rest this side of heaven

I did not call you
To a life filled with fear
That is from the one
Who roams the world and brings on tears

Rest in my arms
Fall into my embrace
I'll hold on to you forever
I have given you my grace.

I cry out: I need your peace, I need your love
I need your strength & might
I need your joy, I need your arms
Without you I soar aimlessly like a kite

I breathe a sigh of relief
My head it starts to clear
God is bigger than the lies
I truly have nothing to fear

I head to work with peace
And go about my day
But slowly fear crawls back again
Making me aware I need to pray

The tension a reminder
Of my need for you each moment
For without you I am vulnerable
I simply am unable

Unconditional

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend - remember as you walk through this day you are deeply loved from up above...

Unconditional
I am here for you
I have always been here for you
You matter to me
I know you

My love is beyond reason
Impossible to contain
Possible to receive
I love you

Nothing can make me stop loving you
My love is unconditional
I will never leave you
I am love

I know you
I love you
I am love
I AM

The Bridge

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend!  I have a thing about bridges.  I am fascinated by how something suspended in the air can connect two things that were previously apart.  Bridges are amazing...


The Bridge
I stand here, you over there.  We are separated by a gap so vast it seems impossible we could ever be connected.  I can feel the gap.  I long for perfection in this world.  I long for no more hurt, pain, or suffering.  I long for a place where evil is gone and love conquers all.  I long to be with you in paradise.

You tell me to come to you.  You have provided a bridge.  But the fog is dense - the pathway not visible to the naked eye.  How can there be a bridge connecting two separate worlds?  It's not possible.  That concept defies logic and the laws of this world.

You whisper:  You are right.  It does defy logic and the laws of this world.  This bridge is not from this world.  It's not made by man. 

I am puzzled.  What kind of bridge is not made by man and can't be seen?  If I step onto an imaginary bridge, I could lose my life.

Or you can gain it.

Gain it?  How?  What exactly is this bridge made of?

One part human, one part perfection.  Only human perfection could bridge the gap.

Human perfection?

Yes.  Humanness is on one side.  I AM on the other.  Only "human perfection" could bridge the gap.

How exactly do I cross this bridge?

It's simple.  You believe this bridge connects us forever.  You take a leap of faith. 

I would like to believe it's that easy, but I am remindeded of the gap - an imperfect human on one side, a perfect God on the other side.  It can't be that easy.

You whisper back:  The path is narrow, but this bridge is available for all to cross.  This bridge is my answer to the gap.  Human perfection connects us forever.  Step onto the bridge and stay on the bridge until you reach the other side.

I decide to take the leap of faith.  I step onto the bridge named Jesus.  The bridge carries me through this life to the next one.  He bridges the gap forever.

Human Being

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend!  Recently I sat down on the brown chaise lounge in my bedroom to have time with God.  I excitedly awaited what words of wisdom he might have for me.  Like a puppy chomping at the bits, thoughts of what he might have me do rattled through my brain:  I'm ready for it.  Give it to me.  I'm ready to go.  

And then his words came to me - I know they were from God because these words never cross my mind naturally:  "Slow down.  Rest." 

What?  There must be some mistake.  Maybe I am on the wrong frequency channel with God.  

"Slow down.  Rest." 

But I'm ready to go!  I can do it.  I'm like a dog on a bone.  Let me at 'em.

"Rest."

Really?  Rest?  Rest is hard for me.  It's much easier for me to do than be.  Being requires quiet.  Being requires sitting still.  Being requires giving up control.  Being requires...well... being. 

Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am.
Be still and know.
Be still.
Be.

Being is hard in a performance based culture.  There are things to be done, items to be checked off the list.  There are good distractions everywhere.  I'm reminded of an article I read recently in Redbook magazine.  It read, "I am not a human doing, I am a human being."

God did not create me to be a human doing.  I am a human BEing.