Fear Not

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend!  Lately I have been reminded to let go of my fears.  They appear throughout the day threatening to drown out my joy in life.  They create a barrier to me loving deeper.  Here's to letting go of fear and holding on to God.

"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear."
- 1 John 4:18


Fear Not
The alarm clock beeps
Waking me from my sleep
A sleep so deep
My nightmare is still fresh in my mind

A conveluded web
Of running and enemies
My dream was dark and scary
But now you are with me

I remind myself of truth
You are loved, enough, and forgiven
You don't need to run
You can rest this side of heaven

I did not call you
To a life filled with fear
That is from the one
Who roams the world and brings on tears

Rest in my arms
Fall into my embrace
I'll hold on to you forever
I have given you my grace.

I cry out: I need your peace, I need your love
I need your strength & might
I need your joy, I need your arms
Without you I soar aimlessly like a kite

I breathe a sigh of relief
My head it starts to clear
God is bigger than the lies
I truly have nothing to fear

I head to work with peace
And go about my day
But slowly fear crawls back again
Making me aware I need to pray

The tension a reminder
Of my need for you each moment
For without you I am vulnerable
I simply am unable

Unconditional

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend - remember as you walk through this day you are deeply loved from up above...

Unconditional
I am here for you
I have always been here for you
You matter to me
I know you

My love is beyond reason
Impossible to contain
Possible to receive
I love you

Nothing can make me stop loving you
My love is unconditional
I will never leave you
I am love

I know you
I love you
I am love
I AM

The Bridge

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend!  I have a thing about bridges.  I am fascinated by how something suspended in the air can connect two things that were previously apart.  Bridges are amazing...


The Bridge
I stand here, you over there.  We are separated by a gap so vast it seems impossible we could ever be connected.  I can feel the gap.  I long for perfection in this world.  I long for no more hurt, pain, or suffering.  I long for a place where evil is gone and love conquers all.  I long to be with you in paradise.

You tell me to come to you.  You have provided a bridge.  But the fog is dense - the pathway not visible to the naked eye.  How can there be a bridge connecting two separate worlds?  It's not possible.  That concept defies logic and the laws of this world.

You whisper:  You are right.  It does defy logic and the laws of this world.  This bridge is not from this world.  It's not made by man. 

I am puzzled.  What kind of bridge is not made by man and can't be seen?  If I step onto an imaginary bridge, I could lose my life.

Or you can gain it.

Gain it?  How?  What exactly is this bridge made of?

One part human, one part perfection.  Only human perfection could bridge the gap.

Human perfection?

Yes.  Humanness is on one side.  I AM on the other.  Only "human perfection" could bridge the gap.

How exactly do I cross this bridge?

It's simple.  You believe this bridge connects us forever.  You take a leap of faith. 

I would like to believe it's that easy, but I am remindeded of the gap - an imperfect human on one side, a perfect God on the other side.  It can't be that easy.

You whisper back:  The path is narrow, but this bridge is available for all to cross.  This bridge is my answer to the gap.  Human perfection connects us forever.  Step onto the bridge and stay on the bridge until you reach the other side.

I decide to take the leap of faith.  I step onto the bridge named Jesus.  The bridge carries me through this life to the next one.  He bridges the gap forever.

Human Being

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend!  Recently I sat down on the brown chaise lounge in my bedroom to have time with God.  I excitedly awaited what words of wisdom he might have for me.  Like a puppy chomping at the bits, thoughts of what he might have me do rattled through my brain:  I'm ready for it.  Give it to me.  I'm ready to go.  

And then his words came to me - I know they were from God because these words never cross my mind naturally:  "Slow down.  Rest." 

What?  There must be some mistake.  Maybe I am on the wrong frequency channel with God.  

"Slow down.  Rest." 

But I'm ready to go!  I can do it.  I'm like a dog on a bone.  Let me at 'em.

"Rest."

Really?  Rest?  Rest is hard for me.  It's much easier for me to do than be.  Being requires quiet.  Being requires sitting still.  Being requires giving up control.  Being requires...well... being. 

Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am.
Be still and know.
Be still.
Be.

Being is hard in a performance based culture.  There are things to be done, items to be checked off the list.  There are good distractions everywhere.  I'm reminded of an article I read recently in Redbook magazine.  It read, "I am not a human doing, I am a human being."

God did not create me to be a human doing.  I am a human BEing.

The Gift

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend!  Christmas is on the brain.  The tree is decorated, the gifts are purchased and wrapped, and red and green is everywhere.  Santa Claus images are everywhere too.  I see his image in people's yards, in every store I enter, and the wait to see him is hours long.

Sometimes I still believe the Santa Claus myth.  No, I'm not thinking he is sliding down the fireplace and filling my stocking or sitting in his sleigh being pulled by reindeer to deliver gifts to everyone in the world.  The myth I believe is much more subtle.

Parts of it come from a popular Christmas song.  The lyrics make themselves at home in my brain.  You better watch out.  You better not cry. You better not pout I'm telling you why.  Santa Claus is coming to town.

The lie in my head goes this way --- if I'm good, I will earn a gift.  If I'm bad, well then no gift for me.  The gift is conditional.  It is based on my performance.   He's making a list.  He's checking it twice.  Gonna find out whose naughty or nice.

I know Santa Claus is not real.  I asked about it when I was six, and my mom told me the truth.  But still, parts of his myth remain.  He sees you when you're sleeping.  He knows when you're awake.  He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.

The lie causes me to chase perfection.  I must be good.  I must be perfect.  No negative emotions (like crying or pouting) allowed.   No slips ups.

The truth is Santa Claus is the opposite of God and his gift.  Only God can see you when you're sleeping.  Only God can be everywhere.  Only God wants you to come as you are --- imperfections and all.  Only God gave a free gift at Christmas that isn't based on performance. 

Christmas is about the ultimate gift from God - the gift of his son Christ.  This gift is free to all (and it can free you from chasing perfection), but it does have one catch.  You must accept the gift.

Once opened, the gift gives life for eternity.  But it keeps on giving.  It gives you grace each day for each time you stumble.  It gives wisdom.  It gives love.  Have you opened your free gift today?

Disbelief

Dear Brave Butterfly,

My heart is heavy at the news of the school shootings in Connecticut.  It hurts deeply for all the parents who have lost their precious children.  I know the pain of losing a child.   I am still wrestling with it after having lost my son Jenson seven months ago.  He had his whole life ahead of him.  He was three. 

The funerals for several of the children are being held today.  This is a day no parent should ever have to face.  But this is their unfair reality as they bravely walk through one of the hardest days of their lives.

This poem goes out with love from one grieving parent to another.  I am so sorry for your loss.

Disbelief
Standing at your grave site
My heart in disbelief
This can not be happening
My world is filled with grief

Your life held so much promise
And a future filled with dreams
But now those dreams are shattered
And my heart rips at the seems

You are my precious child
Who I love and always will
My heart longs just to hold you
The void can not be filled

The pain cuts deep into my heart
A piece of me is gone
You are never coming back
How can I possibly go on?

The grief it overwhelms
Like a broken boat swept out to sea
I can barely function
I don't even know how to be me

I wish I could see you
If only for a day
I'd live in the moment
As we'd venture out to play

You'll never be forgotten
In my heart you'll always be
Until we meet again someday
And live eternally

My Life Preserver

Dear Brave Butterfly,

Hi friend! 

Something strange has happened to me.  It didn't happen over night.  It's been more of a gradual process.

You see, I have always been a hard worker - from striving for A's in high school and college, to starting a career less than one week after graduating college, to feeling a little guilty whenever I take a vacation.  There is nothing inherently wrong with working hard (except maybe the feeling guilty about taking vacation - seriously, stop the madness).

Back to my point.  Working hard isn't a bad quality.  Some things in life require hard work.  BUT I'm realizing not everything in life has to be so hard.

I'm learning there is an easier way.

My Life Preserver

 

I am swimming in the ocean of life.  The water is calm.  I am strong.  My life preserver floats next to me.

The wind and rain come.  The water gets rough.  The waves get bigger.  I swim harder.  My life preserver floats next to me.

The wind and rain continue.  I start to fatigue.  All I can do now is tread water.  I am bobbing up and down like a buoy.  I can feel the current trying to pull me under.  My life preserver floats next to me.

A hurricane blows in.  The rain pours down, the wind howls, and the thick fog rolls in.  I can’t see.  Exhaustion sets in.  I am too tired to swim anymore.  I am drowning and sinking into the deep abyss of the ocean.  I finally reach for my life preserver, but don’t have the strength to grab onto it. 

I awake floating on top of the ocean.  I am alive.  I am somehow floating on my life preserver.  My life preserver saved me.  It gives me rest.  It slowly renews my energy.  It breathes life back into my soul.

Then God shares the truth with me.  My dear child, I have been right next to you through the calm and storms of life.  When you reached for me, I saved you.  I am the ultimate life preserver.  Cling to me always.  Trust me.  Rely on me.

So I hold onto my life preserver and don’t let go.  It makes each day easier.  It gives me strength in the calm and the storms of life.  My life preserver gives life for eternity.