Decay

I’ve been hanging out with my dentist a lot lately – three crowns and a root canal. 

It brought back memories of my first cavity.  My tooth hurt.  It had been hurting for months before I decided to do anything about it.  Maybe the pain will go away on its own.  Or - maybe not. 

I finally broke down and went to the dentist.  She talked me through what she was about to do, “I’ll numb you up, remove the decay, and seal it back up.”  She injected my mouth with a numbing agent.  And then she began drilling on my tooth.  

Less than a minute into the procedure, the horrible smell of an overheating drill loomed in the air.  I closed my mouth and said, “I think your drill is overheating.” 

"No, that's just the smell of decay," she informed me.  The smell of decay?  Decay was at the root of my pain. 

When decay gets stuck inside, it cause major destruction and pain.  It eats away and destroys.  Decay stinks.

The only way to get rid of decay is by removing it.  You have to let it out.  Yes, it's probably going to stink.  But God can remove the decay inside.  He can heal those hurting places.  If you let him.

Let him in.

Heaven

With Jenson's birthday coming up in less than a month, I've been thinking a lot about heaven (as you might imagine).

What is it like???  Heaven...

Heaven
The best day here times infinity
Is what the future holds
The day we see our Savior
The day we enter home

The journey through this life
Can feel dark, lonely, and scary
But heaven is a place
That erases all bad memories

A place so amazing
Beyond our wildest dreams
A place of love, custom made
For those who believe

So I won't fear death for it brings life
Eternity spent with you
Eternal love and peace forever
As you give life anew

Surprising Freedom

The perfect home.  The perfect family.  The perfect life.  So much pressure!

I'm embracing a pursuit of a different sort.  Embracing imperfection.

Laughing instead of crying when my perfectly planned day turns imperfect.  Embracing my quirkiness - like my desire to break into dance moves whenever a fun song plays (even if I'm at the grocery store).  Seeing wrinkles as "laugh lines".

"Imperfection is a form of freedom."  
- Anh Ngo

Imperfection is not only freeing, it's more fun - because it's real.  So drop a petal or two and stand out from the crowd.

Silencing the Lies

Pound. Pound. Pound.  I can hear the the echo through the neighborhood.  Heavy construction all around us.  Houses being framed.  Bricks being laid.

There is no peace.  Quiet time with God isn't quiet time when there is no quiet.  So I face the day on my own. 

How'd it go?  Not well.

I am in a perpetual state of feeling overwhelmed.  An anxiousness I can't shake.  A pounding in my head (ok - that one is warranted).  It is so obvious the better choice.  I need time with the only one that can re-frame it all. 

Nothing can fill me up like time with God.  He changes my outlook.  He gives me rest from the chatter in my brain saying "do more", "be more", "you aren't enough".  He gently whispers - those are lies.  Don't believe them.

You are enough.  You are loved.

Don't believe the lies.  Let Him fill you with truth.

Wagging Smile

Happy thought of the day: A dog smiles by wagging it's tail.  Dogs smile a lot!

Glimpes of Heaven

Some days I try to imagine what my sweet boy, Jenson, is experiencing in heaven.  It must be amazing.

Until that day, I'll hold onto glimpses of heaven...

Glimpses of Heaven

It doesn't happen every day
But on certain days I see

Little tiny windows 
Into how heaven must be

A blue sky filled with streaks of white
A colorful sunset greeting me at night

A stranger with a big bright smile
A friend going the extra mile

The sunshine warming me inside and out
An encouraging word that erases all doubt

The intricacy of an orchid in bloom
A twinkling eye that lights up a room

Springtime when new life appears
A friend providing a listening ear

Beauty in diversity
God giving me fresh eyes to see

And the greatest glimpse into heaven
Love that transcends human understanding

Too Fast

"Mommy, slow down.  You're walking too fast,"  Sydney says as she pulls my hand back trying to get me to stop in my tracks.

I realize with my long legs moving at a brisk pace, it must feel like sprinting to her.  I'm reminded this is not the first time recently she has said these words.  And this time we are simply going to get a slice of pepperoni pizza at her favorite California pizza shop "Pizza My Heart". 

This is supposed to be a day to be with my daughter, just the girls.  I don't have any deadlines.  I'm not even over booked.  All my normal excuses for why I'm walking so fast don't apply.  Really, what am I rushing around for? 

Sometimes I can get caught up in the rush of life.  It's like I'm walking on a fast-paced treadmill - I keep going faster and fast, but I'm not really getting anywhere.  

With Sydney's astute observation, I attempt to shift out of high gear into normal speed.  But old habits are hard to break.  She reminds me again two days later.

"Slow down.  You're walking too fast."

Step off the treadmill to nowhere.  Slow down.

Kristin